


to all the girls i’ve loved before

by hearden



Series: not another romantic comedy [1]
Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers (2017), To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-19
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-06-28 22:54:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15716763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hearden/pseuds/hearden
Summary: Every time Trini has a crush, she writes a letter to her, seals it in an envelope, and keeps it in at the bottom of a fake planter in her room. Five letters, five girls.Kat, her next door neighbor.Tommie, her sparring partner.Aisha, her summer camp co-counselor.Tanya, her foreign exchange buddy.And Kim, the most popular girl in school.Nobody else knows about them until, one day, all five girls do.





	1. dear...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [necking](https://archiveofourown.org/users/necking/gifts).



> it’s me, ya boi, back at it again with that fake dating trimberly au!
> 
> lowkey also writing this for tommy/kat ranger lovefest bc i love 25th anniversary legends
> 
> pls go watch To All the Boys I've Loved Before, it's on netflix rn, it's sooooo good and yes i know it's hets but like i Stan the best fake dating romcom since The Proposal and Easy A ok,,, Bless ALSO asian rep!!! it's so beautiful i'm gonna cry,,,, actually i have cried like several times over this movie so u kno
> 
> u don't HAVE to watch the movie before u read this but it's cute, just,, go watch it, it's 1hr40min and it's available on netflix
> 
> anyway enjoy

It's been three years since Trini moved to Angel Grove, a fresh-faced fish out of water in her new home in Angel Grove, the California air a stark contrast to the… well, she hadn't truly gotten used to one place or another all throughout elementary and middle school because of her dad's job that constantly took their family all over the country. So, when she had unpacked her boxes in her new bedroom with the window that looked out over the front of the house, the street below right underneath her view, Trini decided that the overhang of the front porch would be perfect for sneaking out and that she wouldn't be staying for long, of course.

Always the same routine -- packing, moving, unpacking, never staying in one place.

Three years later, she still hasn’t left Angel Grove, and it shows. Because of how much she used to move, Trini had started a thing. Not like a big thing or a frequent thing, but still a thing. Whenever she got a crush so disgustingly gay and intense she didn't know what to do with herself except gayly panic, she'd write her a letter. It's soothing for her like a kind of catharsis, the idea of getting out on her own, going to college somewhere far away where she can get lost and be done over again and then she'll send every letter she's ever hidden away. Press restart.

When she'd first moved to Angel Grove back in freshman year, she had one letter, and it'd already been sent -- well, handed, actually, physically. An embarrassing, folded up thing on a sheet of her notebook paper that had started out with _I'm not gay or anything_ and then it'd ended up as a horrifying spiral downwards from there. A few weeks before she moved and left Boston Middle School forever, Trini had taken Summer Landsdown aside and handed her the letter, and then-- and then she had moved away and blocked the rest of that humiliating summer from her memory.

By the time spring semester of her senior year rolls around, Trini has five more letters tucked away at the bottom of a fake planter on her bookshelf.

_Dear Kat,_

There's Katherine Hillard, her next door neighbor, the longest friend she's ever had, not just at Angel Grove High but _ever._

_Dear Tommie,_

There's Tommie Oliver, her after school karate classmate and frequent sparring partner.

_Dear Aisha,_

There's Aisha Campbell, her summer camp co-counselor for three summers in a row.

_Dear Tanya,_

There's Tanya Sloan, her foreign exchange buddy who Trini had reluctantly offered to help out and tutor but ended up liking way more than she expected.

_Dear Kim,_

And, then, there's Kimberly Hart, the most popular, most unattainable girl in school.

Nobody knows about them, not even her best friend, Zack, or his boyfriend, Billy, who Trini tells practically everything to. They know, sort of, about her crushes because it's impossible to hide the fact that they sit out in the bleachers for lunch and Kat sits with them and Trini _never_ fails to get a little fidgety whenever Kat first sits down, or that Trini becomes the gayest mess whenever she runs into Kim -- but that's it. That's all they know.

They don't know that her letter to Kat is a page long, front and back, that she thinks constantly about how their shoulders touch when Kat comes over for movie night, how her cherry shampoo smells, how her laugh sounds, how she'll freak out when she sees a dog and text Trini, like, a dozen times telling her just that and then include a blurry picture because the dog won't stop moving.

Trini doesn't even _like_ dogs, but it's pretty cute.

Kat is… pretty cute.

Not that Trini ever plans to _do_ anything about that.

 

-

 

The divorce happened in her sophomore year, just a little over a year after she started high school. Her dad's job asked them to move again, and at this point, Trini had only had one letter written -- Kat's -- and she'd snuck into Kat's room late at night, crying about not wanting to move and the confession had been _right there,_ on the tip of her tongue, and if there was any time to say it, it would've been then when she was about to possibly move for the sixth time in her entire life before eighteen.

But, Trini had froze, Kat had offered to take her to the store on the back of her bicycle for ice cream, and while in the middle of laughing so hard she felt like she was going to start crying again because Kat missed her spoon and got ice cream on her nose, she tucked the confession in the back of her mind and decided to never take it out again.

After that, her dad moved away to Seattle, where his job took him, and Trini only ever saw him for the holidays when she'd accompany her brothers to the airport and they'd all sit near the front of the plane because they were minors.

 

-

 

By the start of spring semester of senior year, all of Angel Grove High is abuzz with college talk. There's not a lot of variety since, around these parts, anyone's choices are either AGCC or UAG if they want to stay close to home or can't afford to go anywhere else. Trini had applied to both, as everyone does, mostly because she doesn't figure she can get in anywhere else. Or doesn't even really know _where_ she wants to go, if anywhere else. The real talk, of course, gravitates around the popular kids. Jason Scott has a football scholarship from USC, Kimberly Hart _also_ has a cheerleading scholarship from USC, and Tommie Oliver, while not as popular as the other two, had already posted her early acceptance letter from Stanford on Instagram.

Kat doesn't say anything to Trini about college, mostly because they don't talk about it. They just dance around discussing it, like they'd danced around talking about Trini's parents' getting divorced or Trini's mom beginning to date this guy she'd met from work named Mr. Kwan. Well, that's not his _full_ name, but Trini only cares enough to call him that.

It's not that she doesn't tell Kat about all of these things -- she does, but in very little detail, and Kat knows, from years of them being friends, that there's no pushing Trini for words beyond what she wants to part with. So, Kat gives her about the same amount in return, and that's just how they are, living an easy life, a quiet life, surviving high school together.

Together until Mr. Kwan asks about college at lunch one Sunday when Kat is over because her parents are out of town, as they often are.

"So, Katherine, where did you apply for college?"

Harmless small talk.

Trini has somewhat of an idea because Kat doesn't hide the brochures on her desk from her. They're all prestigious schools, Ivy League or close to it, and it makes sense because Kat is one of Billy's guesses for who will end up being valedictorian. It would be him, actually, probably, if he hadn't missed a few weeks of school by getting himself and Zack suspended for almost blowing up one of the science classrooms.

Kat clears her throat, twirls some spaghetti around on her fork, gives Mr. Kwan a sweet smile. "Uh, a lot of places. AGCC, UAG, Stanford."

"Anywhere out of state?" Mr. Kwan asks, curiously.

Trini wants to leave, but she also wants to hear this.

She doesn't miss the quick glance Kat gives her before answering.

"Yeah, of course, uh, Harvard, Yale, you know, some of the ones way out east."

Kat glances at her again, but Trini pointedly looks at her brothers across the table. They look bored with all this bland future plans talk, and she's already finished with her food. She asks her mom, "Can I take Bass and Matty outside to play?"

Her mom stares at her for a moment, looks at her brothers, then reluctantly nods.

 

-

 

Trini doesn't look over her shoulder when she hears the front door opening about almost an hour later, but she knows without looking that it's Kat leaving. Regardless, she's distracted enough that Sebastian gets a goal past her, the ball flying right between her feet. Sighing, Trini turns around to get it, only to pause when she sees Kat standing there, her foot on the ball to keep it in place.

"Hey, can you guys go inside for a sec?" Kat asks her brothers, "I need to talk to Trini for a bit."

"But we're in the middle of a game!" Matthew whines, stomping his foot on the ground.

Kat chuckles and runs a hand through her curls. "I'll play for you," she promises, "Please? For Me?" Trini makes a soft, choked noise in her throat that Kat thankfully doesn't hear and looks away, casually putting a hand to her chest to stop her heart from beating right out of it. What's a heart attack feel like again?

Grumbling, Sebastian and Matthew scramble back inside, Kat watching them go before she speaks. "So," she starts, gently kicking the ball over to Trini, who just taps it with her foot to stop it, "I guess we… have to talk about college now."

"We don't _have_ to talk about it," Trini mutters, kicking the ball back. She doesn't want to ask where Kat is going.

But, they're best friends -- Kat's her closest girl friend -- which means she can hardly have a thought without Kat already being at the same point. Well, on most things, at least. "I'm going to Harvard," Kat says, rubbing the back of her neck, "I already… got the letter and everything."

Her chest constricting, Trini abruptly turns around, facing the street, and puts her back to Kat. She takes a deep breath, trying to stop the emotions she knows are coming. Releases her deep breath, but it comes out more like a disappointed sigh.

Grass crunches underneath shoes as Kat comes to stand next to her but doesn't look her way, looks at a squirrel scrambling up a tree across the street instead. "We're still gonna be best friends," she murmurs.

 _That's not what I'm worried about,_ Trini wants to say, and it's perfect. She should do it right now, tell Kat _right_ now, but the words won't come out. Her chest feels so, so tight, frozen. "Yeah," Trini says, instead, and forces back tears.

 

-

 

That night, she sits at her desk, the planter from her bookshelf on her desk, the fake cactus off to the side so she can take out her letters and read them again. She glances up, seeing a light flickering in her periphery. An advantage of having a window facing the street -- hers is right across from Kat's house. They're not next door neighbors, exactly, but across the street… counts.

Kat's desk lamp is flashing on and off, a question of if Trini wants to talk right now. She can see Kat, vaguely, or at least her fuzzy shape, next to her drawn-back pink curtains, probably in her pajamas already and getting ready for bed. She could--

"What are you doing?"

Trini jumps at Sebastian's voice and turns around in her desk chair, trying to act natural as she covers up her letters with her arm and ending up looking rather awkward instead. "Um, nothing," she says, forcing a smile, "Why, what's up?"

"Mom says you have to take us to school tomorrow," Matthew says, rolling his eyes, "She has a meeting, so she has to come in early or whatever."

Trini sighs. "Fine."

"She says you need to use your car more often--"

" _Okay,_ " Trini grumbles, "I get it. Tell Mom I'll take you little shits--" Both of the twins' eyes light up, and Trini quickly corrects herself, " _Don't_ repeat that to her! Just tell her I'll do it." She narrows her eyes at them. "Knock next time."

"Your door was open," Sebastian replies, shrugging, then drags his twin off, their footsteps clamoring down the stairs.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Trini shuffles the letters back into their envelopes, lingering on Kat's for a moment too long. She looks over at Kat's window and can still see her, standing by her curtains, waiting for Trini's answer. Swallowing a round of guilt, Trini reaches over to her desk lamp and flicks it on and off twice -- their code for no -- then leaves it off as she puts her letters back into the bottom of her fake cactus pot and tucks the pot back in its home on her bookshelf.

 

-

 

Somehow, the next morning, she drives Sebastian and Matthew to Angel Grove Middle School without getting into a car crash then parks her car in the middle school visitor parking lot, thankful that her mom had gotten her a parking sticker for the middle school as well, and walks half a block to the high school.

Mondays are generally boring for her because she doesn't have anything to do after school. Karate is every Tuesday and Thursday, and she meets up with Tanya every Wednesday at the one tapioca place downtown to hang out. She and Kat haven't talked all day, and Kat's bicycle hadn't been on her front porch this morning, which means Kat probably left for school significantly earlier than Trini did, so Trini goes out on a limb and texts her as she's walking into the high school student parking lot.

 **_trini_ ** _hey srry i wasnt in the mood to talk last night_

The typing indicator pops up as Kat writes a response, and Trini is so intently watching it that she collide head first with someone, their hands flying out to steady her.

"Whoa, whoa, careful where you're going."

Trini almost chokes on air, her heart immediately sinking at the sound of Kimberly Hart's voice. Oh, God. Clearing her throat and taking a big step back, Trini looks up, finally noticing that she'd been walking in a wavy line and, had Kim not been standing there, she would've run right into the trunk of her BMW. "Uh, sorry, I, um--"

"Must be someone important," Kim's girlfriend, Amanda Clark, says from where she's grabbing her backpack from the passenger side, "If you're staring at your phone like you're trying to jump into it. Or jump it. Either one."

"I-- I wasn't--" Trini mutters.

Kim rolls her eyes and shakes her head, but she still reacts automatically when Amanda comes to stand next to her, linking hands with her girlfriend. "She's just teasing you."

"Just a friend," Trini manages to get out, long after the appropriate moment to give that answer is over.

"I like your boots," Kim says, glancing at Trini's combat boots.

Trini's voice goes into a higher pitch, completely out of her control, and she squeaks out a distressed, "Oh, um, thanks."

God, just kill her now.

"They're a little edgy, don't you think?" Amanda asks, raising her eyebrows.

Before Trini can respond, Kim scoffs a bit. "That's what you said about my jacket," she remarks, putting her hand on the leather jacket she's wearing.

"I know, I meant it. This isn't _Grease._ "

"I think your jacket's nice," Trini comments, immediately regretting that decision. Why? Why? _Why_ would she say that? Kim can go without her complimenting her just fine. Just-- God, why can't she shut her mouth for two minutes?

Kim smiles. "Thanks. See? Someone appreciates it."

Amanda narrows her eyes at Trini, who, to her credit, doesn't budge, but it's also because she's frozen in the same spot until Kim leaves.

"Hey, crazy girl!"

Trini breathes out a sigh of relief that doesn't go unnoticed by Kim, who chuckles under her breath, and grumbles as Zack gathers her up in a hug, squishing her cheek against his chest. "Get off of me," she mutters.

"What's that? All I heard was _geroff mmph._ "

"Kill me now," she hisses into Zack's shirt.

He pats her on the back then lets her go. "They're already leaving," he says, reassuringly.

True enough, when Trini glances back at where Kim and Amanda were standing, she sees that they're walking away. A moment later, Kim holds up her car remote and clicks it, and her BMW suddenly locks with a loud _beep!_ that makes Trini jump.

Zack laughs, patting Trini on the head. "You've got it bad."

"Shut up." She ignores him and smiles at Billy, who's fiddling with a little robot in his hands. "Hey, Billy."

"Hey, Trini," he greets, beaming, "How are you?"

"She's gay," Zack answers for her, "Horribly so."

Billy chuckles. "Congrats, but I asked Trini."

"I'm answering for her since she can't talk anymore. Kim made her mute."

"She did _not,_ " Trini groans, smacking Zack in the arm, "You act like you didn't bomb your first date by clamming up."

"You did," Billy confirms, pointedly, "I believe your exact words were, 'So… the weather sure is nice this fine Tuesday morning.'"

"I see nothing wrong with talking about the weather on a first date," Zack says, defensively.

"It was a Saturday night."

 

-

 

It's the same routine as always after that. She checks her phone to see Kat's response, which had been a simple, sweet _no probs, see u at lunch._

Her first four periods before lunch are a whirlwind of hating her own existence because she can't focus when her first period gym class has to go outside and do laps and the softball players are having practice at the same time and Tanya _waves_ at her before taking her helmet off and shaking her curls loose.

Trini almost trips, but thankfully, Billy is there to steady her before she does something dumb like faceplant on the track.

She catches sight of Tommie in the hallway when she's going from third to fourth period and-- Is that a new top? Oh, God.

She runs straight into Jason Scott, knocking a binder out of his hand. It lands on her foot, predictably. "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry--" she starts.

"No, no, it's okay," Jason says, holding up his phone in his other hand, "I was texting, I wasn't looking."

Well, she _had_ been looking, just not in the right direction.

Somehow, Trini makes it to lunch without dying again. Almost. She naturally shifts in her seat when Kat joins her, Zack, and Billy on the bleachers, which doesn't go unnoticed by Zack who smirks at her. She throws a baby carrot at him, and he tries to catch it, but it misses his mouth completely and falls through the gap in the bleachers.

"Hey, you wanna come over tonight?" she asks Kat without choking on her food somehow, "Watch a movie or something?"

"Yeah, sure," Kat answers, smiling so brightly Trini feels like she’s gonna go blind, "Mum and Dad don’t get home ‘til Thursday, anyway, so I’m just home alone."

"You know what you should do," Zack suggests, waving a pair of wooden chopsticks at Kat while he shoves fried rice into his mouth, "You should -- mmph -- home alone and then -- mmph -- _Home Alone._ It’ll be funny."

"I missed, like, half of that," Kat says, blinking at him.

"Be more disgusting, please." Trini scowls at Zack.

"Gladly." He smirks at her then pouts when Billy reaches over and takes his chopsticks out of his hands. "Hey!"

"Play with your food and you get your toys taken away," Billy reprimands, snickering and sharing a high five with Kat.

"Well, I can’t eat properly without utensils, now, can I?"

"Then perish," Trini responds, flatly.

Zack gasps and clutches his hand to his chest.

 

-

 

As Trini is leaving for the day, she almost gets run over in the high school student parking lot.

Well, to be fair, she hadn't been looking.

Her headphones were on, and she'd been reading Kat's text about what movie they should watch tonight.

So… yeah.

A car horn loudly beeps at her, and she jumps, almost dropping her phone, and looks up to see Kim's BMW, a few feet away from hitting her. Kim's driver window rolls down, and she pokes her head out, raising her eyebrows. "Twice in the same place on the same day?" Kim calls out, laughing, "Come on, Trini, you've gotta pay more attention!"

Huffing, Trini just shuffles off to the side to let Kim's BMW pass, not missing the glance Amanda gives her as the car drives away. She notices just about enough.

 

-

 

When she comes home, her mom has a couple of folded-up brown boxes out in the living room for her and her brothers to do some annual donating.

"Isn't it a little early for spring cleaning?" Trini huffs, grabbing a box and taking care to drag it against the floor as she trudges upstairs.

"Careful with the floor," June reprimands, "And, no, never. Plus, we need to clear some things, make some space."

Trini whirls around on the stairs and accidentally hits the wall with the corner of her box. She flashes her mom an apologetic smile then narrows her eyes, suspiciously. "Make some space… for who?"

June stares at her for a moment then shrugs. "Just make some space."

"Uh-huh."

 

-

 

After she dumps some really, really old clothes into the box, enough to make her mom happy that she's "making some space," Trini invites Kat over for movie night. She and Kat decide on _Transformers_ because Bass and Matty interrupt them halfway through their process of decision and elimination and just… stay. Not that Trini can really _do_ anything about it since her mom is working in her bedroom upstairs and if she tells them no, they’ll go blab to her as usual. And it’s nowhere close to their bedtime yet, so she really can’t make up any excuses besides not wanting her brothers sandwiched between her and one of the prettiest girls at AGHS.

Well, then again, maybe she’s okay with that because at least she wouldn’t die from Kat nudging her whenever Megan Fox comes on-screen.

Telling Kat that Megan Fox had been her gay awakening had been a grave mistake, naturally.

Not that Bass and Matty being between them stops anything. “Trini thinks she’s cute,” Kat teases when Mikaela pops Bumblebee’s hood to check the engine.

“Trini thinks _you’re_ cute,” Sebastian states, and Trini just about dies.

She nervously chuckles while, on-screen, Sam freaks out at how hot Mikaela is; honestly, Trini’s never related to a white boy more. Pointedly, she stares at the TV, resisting the urge to look over at Kat.

“I think she’s cute, too,” Kat says, gently, chuckling. Trini sinks into her seat and crosses her arms.

This couldn’t be worse.

 

-

 

Little does she know, yes, it could be worse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> title from... well, you know, the source material
> 
> this is gonna be one hell of a gay mess ride, i hope y'all are buckled in
> 
> my tumblr is torihansons, come yell at/with me about tatbilb and/or this tatgilb au... or power rangers bc i love that too, clearly


	2. a gay disaster

Kat is gone by the morning, having fallen asleep on the other end of the couch. Trini wakes, curled up on the opposite end, untangling herself from a blanket that someone had draped over her last night. Clanking in the kitchen had woken her up, and she peeks over the back of the couch to see her mom making coffee.

"You’re up," June says, catching sight of her bedhead, "Hey, have you seen the other stamp book?"

"I… just woke up," Trini mumbles, stretching to grab her phone from the coffee table. Crap, she hadn’t charged it last night when she fell asleep, so now it’s only at 30%. "Did you check the drawer with the pens?"

"Mhm," June hums, pulling open said drawer. She holds up a strip of stamps that Trini squints at. "I could’ve sworn we had more than this, but there’s only one stamp left and I need to put these bills in the mail before I leave for work."

"Uh, I can call Kat? Maybe she’ll have some."

Her mom thinks about that for a second then waves her hand. "No need, I’ll mail them at work. You go get ready for school. And wake up your brothers."

Letting out a loud, tired groan, Trini grabs her phone, folds up the blanket and leaves it on the couch, and trudges upstairs. The twins’ bedroom door is already open, and they wave at her when she walks by, Sebastian already dressed and Matthew with one leg through his jeans and the other leg… not. "You’re up early," she grumbles.

"Well, you sent us to bed _before_ the movie ended," Sebastian pouts.

"Doesn’t mean you sleep right away. I’ll be down to make breakfast in a few." She walks off to her bedroom.

"Can we have pancakes?" Matthew calls after her, hobbling into the hallway with his one dressed leg.

"That takes too _long,_ " Trini says over her shoulder, "You’re getting toast."

"McDonald’s!" Sebastian abruptly shouts then joins his brother in the hallway, "You can drive! Let’s get hash browns!"

"No!" Their mother’s voice distantly drifts up the staircase. "I put toast and eggs out for Trini to make."

"Aw, come on!" Sebastian runs over to the staircase and clasps his hands together, presumably at their mom at the bottom. "Please? You said Trini has to drive her car more. McDonald’s is on the way to school."

Oh, this is hell.

"It is not!" Trini says, "I’d have to go past school then do a U-turn in morning work traffic! We’re not going."

"Scaredy-cat," Matthew mutters.

Trini goes over and yanks on the jean leg he still hasn’t put on, causing him to fall over and hit the hardwood floor with a _thump._

"Ow! _Mom!_ "

"Trini!"

She grumbles. "Sorry, you wimp."

 

-

 

They're out running laps for first period gym _again,_ and Trini complains under her breath the whole time. The softball team is practicing in the field right next to the track, and she's seen Tanya glance at her a few times more than she's comfortable with while she's not stepping up to bat.

Ideally, she is, actually, faster than Zack and Billy, but Billy lags behind so she and Zack stick with him all the way in the back. She doesn't think much of it that she sees Kim standing by the track when she, Zack, and Billy complete their third lap, but then Kim is falling into place beside them, pulling her long hair into a quick ponytail that almost sends Trini tripping over herself.

"Hey," Kim says, nodding to the boys, "Can I talk to Trini for a sec?"

Zack glances at Kim and smirks. "Hey, is it true you and Amanda are on break _again?_ "

"Is it true you fell into a trash can this morning?" Kim counters, and Trini laughs, her stomach fluttering. It _is_ true. She'd seen it happen right before first period in the cafeteria.

"I didn't _fall_ into it," Zack protests, frowning, "I _ran_ into it. There's a difference."

"Yeah, sure." Billy shrugs at Trini's raised eyebrows then smiles at Kim. "I like your scrunchie."

"Thanks, Billy."

The boys wave her goodbye and keep jogging, Billy muttering something about hating exercise and Zack saying that scavenging in the abandoned mine outside of town counts as exercise.

Kim stops in the middle of the track since nobody's behind them, so Trini is forced to stop, too. "Hey, so, uh… I'm flattered," she starts, slowly, "But, I just wanna let you know that it's never gonna happen…"

Trini squints. "What?" she asks, incredulously, "I have _no_ idea what you're talking about." She gives Kim a fake, forced smile to hide the fact that her heart just started pounding at a million miles a minute. Did Zack or Billy tell Kim? _No,_ that wasn't possible. They'd never do that to her.

"It's cool that we're lab partners sometimes since it's like you're the _only_ other person who actually knows what's going on in that class, like, everyone else is so dumb, I swear, and I think it's nice that you think that I'm, uh, beautiful and remind you of Jasmine from _Aladdin,_ " Kim is saying, and Trini pauses.

She's heard that before.

Wait.

She's _written_ that before.

"Wh-- _what?_ " Trini repeats.

"You wrote this, right?" Kim pulls something out of her back pocket, and all Trini sees is her handwriting on the front of a white envelope -- _Kimberly Hart, 1410 Silverside Crossing, Angel Grove, CA 90051_ \-- and then she faints.

 

-

 

"Hello? Trini, are you okay? Blink twice if you-- nevermind."

Trini blearily opens her eyes, squinting against the bright sunlight in the sky, and makes a quiet, choked noise in her throat when Kim leans over and peers at her. "What… what happened?" she mumbles.

"You, uh, you fainted," Kim explains.

"Oh… okay. I'll just stay here, then." Trini nods and closes her eyes again.

"What? No, get up! Here, lemme--" Kim grabs both of her hands and pulls her up.

Trini groans and immediately pulls her hands away from Kim's the first moment she can, gently probing the back of her head. She doesn't _remember_ fainting, but there's a slight ache where her head must have hit the ground, so maybe.

Kim looks at her with concern, which Trini finds baffling. She's never seen Kim look at _her_ with _concern._ This is too much. "Are you okay? Do you want me to take you to the nurse or something?"

"No, no, I'm fine--" she starts, rubbing her eyes. Then, she sees Kat approaching the track over Kim's shoulder. _This is fine,_ she thinks, _It's just Kat._

Her eyes land on the envelope clutched in Kat's hand. Kat makes eye contact with her.

"Oh, my _God,_ " Trini exclaims.

Kim furrows her brow. "What? What's wr--"

Trini grabs her shirt and yanks her into a quick kiss that isn't even entirely satisfying. Their foreheads bump together, and her other arm is awkwardly trapped between her and Kim since Kim had been hunched over her, but--

It's over when Coach Dowdy yells at her when her gym class -- that she's _not_ running with -- passes right by her -- she hears Zack whoop, letting her know that he saw her -- and Kim and he notices her sitting on the ground, kissing a hot girl. "Hey! Stop that!" He blows his whistle at her. "Two more laps for you, Kwan!"

"My name isn't Kwan!" Trini yells back then frantically glances at Kat, who had definitely seen that kiss. And if Kat has a letter and Kim has a letter… She remembers Tanya and looks over at the softball field. Tanya probably has a letter, too, _that's_ why she'd been looking at her so much when gym class started.

Alright, well.

Only one thing to do now.

Trini scrambles to her feet and runs off, bolting right past Kat before she can stop her.

 

-

 

Once she's inside the school, Trini huffs, her mind racing. Okay, so, this was… a problem. And how does she handle her problems?

The entrance behind her opens as Zack and Billy burst through, panting. "Hey," Billy says between strained breaths, "Are you… whew, okay?"

"Uh, no." Trini blinks at him. "What are you doing here?"

"We…" Zack catches his breath and waves his hand. "You ran off, we wanted to check up on you-- Dude, did you just kiss _Kimberly Hart?_ "

"Uh… I don't know."

"You don't _know?_ I mean, did you kiss her or not?"

"Yeah, I mean, I don't know!" Trini shouts, panicking, then clamps a hand to her mouth. There's classes going on down the hallway. Hell. This is hell. She looks around. "Wait, this is J hall."

"Uh, yeah, duh." Zack raises his eyebrows at her. "You ran through the J hall side door."

Maybe she did. The only thing is that J hall _also_ has the library, and… Trini looks to the end of the hallway where the words _Library_ are in blue print on the wall right above the double doors. She pauses for a second. This couldn't get worse, right?

The library doors open, and Tommie walks out, her eyes on her phone, a library worker badge clipped onto her shirt, and a stack of files in her free hand.

"Oh, you just _had_ to ask, didn't you?" Trini grumbles to herself.

"What'd you say?" Zack asks.

"Nothing," she mutters and yanks him and Billy off to the side, in a water fountain alcove that hides her from Tommie. For now. "Listen to me," she whispers, urgently, "You can't ask me why, but I _need_ you to distract Tommie. Like, right now."

"Um, okay." Billy nods immediately.

"Why?" Zack questions.

She gently smacks him on the cheek.

"Ow!" he hisses at her and frowns.

"Just do it!" she hisses back then shoves him back out into the hallway. Once he and Billy are out there, Trini hastily scrambles behind their large frames and bolts for the interconnecting hallway, thoroughly panicking now.

Behind her, she hears Zack starting conversation with Tommie. "Hey, yo, Tommie! Your sister's throwing a party Saturday, right? Can you get me and my boy here an invite?"

"And why would I do that?" comes Tommie's faint response.

"Uh, because… Emily likes us?"

There's a pause as Tommie thinks about it, then she abruptly asks, "Hey, didn't I see Trini with you guys? Where'd she go?"

"No… Trini's not here. She's, um, huh, I don't know where she is," Zack lies, "Billy, do you know?"

"No… I don't think I do."

Another pause. "You guys are weird," Tommie states.

Trini runs until she reaches G hall and ducks into the girls' bathroom, locking herself in a stall. This day can't get-- No, she shouldn't think that.

The bathroom door creaks open. "Trini? Are you in here?"

Too late.

Trini puts her fist in her mouth and bites down on her hand. This is not. This is not _happening._ A moment passes, and footsteps approach the only occupied stall. Yellow Converse stop in front of her stall. Blankly, she stares at them. There's a little Sharpie doodle of a bear on the right shoe that Trini had made last summer, which means it's definitely Aisha, if there was ever any doubt.

"… No," she lies.

Aisha clears her throat. "I was heading to the restroom and then I saw you come in here, and… I figured I'd check up on you, see why you were running like you were being chased…"

Trini forces out an unconvincing, "I'm fine."

"Okay. Well. I also thought you'd like this back."

Aisha holds a white envelope under the stall door. It's unmistakably Trini's with her handwriting on the front, addressed to the Campbells' house. Letting out a distressed squeak, Trini snatches the envelope from Aisha's hand then opens the stall, forcing the other girl to quickly back up in order to not get smacked in the face by a bathroom stall door.

Avoiding Aisha's eyes, Trini goes over to the sinks and leans against one, counting her breaths.

"It's four seconds in then four seconds out," Aisha helpfully offers.

"I know," Trini mumbles.

"Um, you know, I had fun at camp," Aisha continues, and Trini wants to sink into the floor, "I didn't think I'd make any friends at camp since I just moved from Stone Canyon, you know, but then you were so nice to me and being co-counselors together has been some of the best moments of my summers so far, but, uh…"

Trini turns around and rips off the bandaid before Aisha can. "You're not interested," she deadpans, "Yeah, I know. Listen, that was-- You weren't supposed to see this." She waves the envelope in the air. "I don't know how it got to you but--"

" _Trini,_ it's okay," Aisha gently reassures her, "Besides, some of the things you said in that letter… You know I'm ace, right?"

She certainly did not.

"Um. Yeah," Trini fumbles, blushing furiously and staring a hole into her shoes, "I… I sure did." To ease the air, she nods at a bracelet on Aisha's wrist, a yellow cord with one charm on it -- the number two. "Is that new?"

"Kinda," Aisha replies, "I got it a few weeks ago… Which reminds me, I'm already seeing someone, anyway."

"Ah. Right." She hadn't know that, either.

God, okay, when is she going to sink through the floor already?

 

-

 

She skips karate, naturally, because Tommie's going to be there and Trini can't deal with this all in one day. First, Kim then Kat and probably Tanya and Tommie, too, and then Aisha--

After school, Trini scrambles up the stairs before her brothers even and goes to grab her planter, but it’s not there. She makes a distraught, inhuman noise, drops to her knees, looks under her bed, looks under her desk, in her closet, and in the pocket of her favorite jacket for some dumb reason as if it’ll be there.

It’s not.

“Mom, Mom, Mom,” Trini calls, hastily jumping down the stairs two at a time, almost slipping on the last step. She clutches at the railing. “Has anyone been in my room? Like, to clean it?”

June stares at her. “You clean your own room.”

“Well, yeah, I mean, yeah, I just--” She nervously chuckles and fakes a smile. “I’m just missing some things.”

“What things?”

“Um… a cactus I had on my shelf… some… papers.”

“Maybe they ended up with the Goodwill box?” her mom suggests.

Trini raises her eyebrows and blinks. “Maybe they what?”

“Maybe you accidentally put them in your Goodwill box,” June repeats, “Would you like to invite Kat over for dinner?”

“No!” Trini answers too quickly then sheepishly amends when her mom looks at her weird, “I, uh, I gotta gay--” Shit. “Go!” she says, louder, hoping her mom didn’t hear that slip-up, “Go. I gotta go. I’ll be back in time for dinner, promise.”

She struggles into her shoes and stumbles out the door, running across the street to grab Kat’s bike from the front porch. Kat’s let her use it time and time before, so Trini knows she can use it. The question -- of course -- is if she can use it _now,_ when Kat has one of five letters detailing all of her humiliating, secret, utterly gay feelings for her.

Trini decides, yes, she can, and hops on the pink bike, hurriedly pedaling down the street to get the hell away from all of her problems.

 

-

 

Everyone in Angel Grove had gone wild when Krispy Kreme first opened, understandably. Same had gone for the one tapioca place downtown, too, but Krispy Kreme is closer, so Trini heads there, hoping that she won’t run into any of her crushes on the way or in the bakery itself. She parks Kat’s bike outside and settles for a cozy table all the way in the back, nursing a chocolate iced donut with sprinkles and a hot coffee with two sugars. Not that she should be _drinking_ coffee when she’s already anxious and it makes her… more anxious.

She looks up as someone drags the chair opposite her out and sits down.

"Someone sitting here?" Kim asks, smiling at her and taking a bite of a strawberry iced donut with sprinkles.

"You… you already sat down," Trini says, perplexed, "Uh, I gotta go."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Kim holds out a hand to stop her. "Wait. Your mom said I could find you here. Can we just talk about this?"

Trini huffs. "Nothing to talk about."

"Uh, sure, there is. You _kissed_ me."

"Can we just… forget that happened?" Trini sighs, feeling like the answer is going to be no.

"Sure," Kim answers, and Trini breathes a sigh of relief, "Hold on. As _long_ as you're okay with me telling everyone at school that you wrote me a love letter where you call my eyes beautiful and shining--"

" _Fine,_ " Trini hisses, slapping her hand down on the table.

Kim smirks.

"I kissed you because I didn't want someone else to think that I liked them."

"Who?"

"Doesn't matter."

Kim presses, " _Who?_ "

Trini groans. "Katherine Hillard."

Kim raises her eyebrows. "And _why_ would she think you like her?"

"Because… because I, um, she got a letter, too." At Kim's raised eyebrows, Trini quickly continues, "Those were _not_ supposed to be sent. I don't know how they got out. That-- it's-- hhhhh."

Kim snorts. "Wow, you think you're special 'cause a girl wrote you a love letter and then it turns out she wrote _two_ girls."

Trini clears her throat.

Kim catches it. "There's _more?_ "

"Five," she mumbles.

" _Five?_ Come on, you're killing me." Kim pauses. "Who?"

"Stop asking that."

"Who?"

Putting her head in her hands, Trini curses her life. "If I tell you, will you leave me alone and forget this ever happened?"

"Absolutely."

"Tommie Oliver… Aisha Campbell… Tanya Sloan." Trini hides behind her hands more and more with each name because Kim's smirk just gets wider and wider. Man, she'd get along with Zack really well.

"Damn, Kwan, you're a player," Kim whistles, lowly.

"My name's not Kwan," Trini grumbles, "He's not my stepdad… yet. Look, those letters were… old news. Now, if you'll excuse me…" She grabs her cup of coffee and gets up.

"Whoa, hold on, wait." Kim stands up, getting in her way. "Is that your bike out front? Pink?"

"I'm borrowing it," Trini mutters.

"Do you… want a ride home?"

Trini freezes.

"Hello? Earth to Trini?"

"Uh, no, no," she stutters, "That's… fine."

"No, I insist," Kim says, nudging her shoulder; Trini flinches, "It's faster."

 

-

 

When Kim pulls up to the front of Trini's house, Trini tries to scramble out the passenger side as fast as she can, but Kim stops her.

"Wait, whoa, quick question."

Trini waits but sighs loudly.

"You said you kissed me because you wanted to make sure Kat doesn't think you like her--"

"I _kissed_ you," Trini snaps, "It's not like we're _together._ "

She visibly sees the lightbulb go off in Kim's head. Oh, no.

"What if we were?"

" _What?_ "

"No, no, no," Kim says, a little too excitedly for Trini's tastes, "What if we pretended like we're dating? Amanda flipped this afternoon during practice because she heard about us kissing, and-- I mean, you can make sure all the girls who got your letters don't think you still like them. Right?"

Trini stares at her. "You want us to… fake date?"

"You don't have to give me an answer right away," Kim says, grinning, "Just think about it."

"I'm pretty sure I won't," Trini mutters as she gets out of Kim's car then goes to take Kat's bike out of the backseat.

When Kim drives away, Trini rolls Kat's bike up to the front porch. She chains it back up and shoves her hands on her pockets, turning to go back to her house, but she freezes at the sound of a door swinging open behind her.

"I was wondering where that went," comes Kat's voice from the doorway, "You hang out with Kimberly Hart now?"

Trini sighs but doesn't turn around. She can't look at Kat right now, doesn't want to. "She was giving me a ride home."

"Trini," Kat calls out. Trini bites down on her lower lip. Her tone is soft, gentle, almost pleading. "Can we talk?"

"I, um," she chokes, "No, I can't -- I-I have to get home for dinner."

"Trini--"

She starts walking across the street before Kat can stop her any further.

 

-

 

Trini stumbles into her room in the dark that night, keeping her lights off because her curtains are drawn, having awkwardly evaded all of her mom's questions about if Kat would like to come over for dinner since her parents are out of town. It leaves a bitter, guilty taste in Trini's mouth that completely drowns out the chocolate ice cream she'd shared with Bass and Matty for dessert. Sneaking over to her desk but careful not to let herself be visible in the window, Trini takes a peek at the Hillard house across the street. Kat must have left the dining room light on because Trini can see the soft glow from the first floor; Kat herself is at her desk, her lamp on, staring intently at her laptop.

She must sense something because she looks up, and Trini, heart pounding in her chest, yanks her curtains closed.


	3. signed with a kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i forgot to include this in the beginning of the fic (i'll go back and add it) but i do in fact have a fancast graphic for the girls which can be found [here](https://torihansons.tumblr.com/post/177176217941/to-all-the-girls-ive-loved-before-every-time) where zendaya is kat, kelsey chow is tommie, alia bhatt is aisha, and brittany o'grady is tanya

Trini wakes to her alarm with a pounding headache and Kat sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Morning, sunshine," Kat but, like, _not_ Kat greets with a smile.

"Go away," Trini mutters, swinging her legs out of bed and taking a long moment to just sit there, her face in her hands. Getting up, she goes over to her window, naturally, and looks at the Hillard house. Kat's bike is gone.

Kat sidles up next to her, uncomfortably close, and Trini turns around, sharply inhaling at being trapped between the wall and her best friend/crush/something else she doesn't wanna think about right now. A dream version of that, no less.

"I could just walk through you," Trini grumbles, avoiding Kat's eyes, "I think."

"We both know you won't," Kat chuckles, "I know you, Trini. Come on, you can't even look at me. Do you hate me that much?"

"I don't--" she starts to protest, looking up to meet Kat's gaze, and that's the problem.

"Then why won't you just talk to me?" Kat motions to the window. "I'm probably in town getting breakfast right now. You could be there with me, we could talk about your feelings." She continues, sweetly, in only the way that Kat could where every word she says has Trini just hanging off of the edge of a cliff, ready to let go if Kat asked her to, "I know Harvard's far away, but don't you think we could do this? Just talk to me."

Trini almost starts back with how utterly unrealistic that is and how absolutely wrong Kat is about them working because they just wouldn't and she doesn't think she'd be able to handle Kat being so far away, and then, a voice cuts her off.

"That's bullshit, Hillard. Give it a rest."

Trini blinks, and Kat is gone. Instead, Kim is lounging on her bed, laying back on her elbows, her legs dangling off the side. She nods at her. "Neat trick, huh? Wanna see me do it again?"

Her brain is miraculously quiet for what feels like the first time in forever.

"Holy shit," Trini whispers to herself, and Kim smirks in response.

 

-

 

An hour later, when Trini's dropped Bass and Matty off at school then parked her car in the middle school parking lot as usual, she makes a beeline for the football field, nervously rubbing at her backpack straps and fidgeting with her yellow beanie as she walks. There's still about half an hour before the first period bell rings, and she's trying so desperately hard to avoid running into Kat or Tommie or Tanya by taking the longest route to the football field through all the smaller hallways that hardly anyone uses.

Naturally, she stumbles upon Billy and Zack walking out of one of the home econ classrooms laughing then freezing in their tracks when they see her.

The three of them stare at each other.

She keeps walking. Something's probably going to happen later in the day, and luckily, she doesn't have home econ.

There's a scattered amount of football players and cheerleaders on the field, cleaning up equipment from morning practice, presumably. Trini sees Jason Scott's 11 jog by and half-heartedly waves when he calls out her name. It's that that gets Kim's attention and what lets Trini spot Kim on the sidelines. She also, unwillingly, notices that Amanda is a good distance away from Kim, standing with some of her other friends.

Kim, in the flesh, not some teen angsty hallucination that hangs out in her bedroom pestering her with her anxieties, meets her halfway, greeting her with a smirk. "Morning."

"How do you know I'm here to talk to you?" Trini asks, raising her eyebrows.

"Well, you're probably not here to talk to Jason," Kim says, shrugging, "Lucky guess."

Trini sighs. Here goes. "Let's do this," she declares with no context.

Kim gets it immediately, grinning. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Trini nods.

Kim steps closer then hooks two of her fingers under one of Trini's backpack straps and tugs her closer into a sudden kiss, one that Trini muffledly yelps at as Kim daringly grazes her teeth along Trini's lower lip before pulling away.

  


Okay. _That_ just happened.

Trini blinks and shakes her head a little, trying to restart her brain after what feels like having it just completely crash on her. Over Kim's shoulder, she can see Amanda scowling and turning away, which, while Kim is still looking at her, she knows is probably the reason why Kim's smirk just grew wider.

"See you at lunch," Kim says, giving her a wink.

"Mhm," Trini murmurs, not entirely trusting her words to work, "Okay, um. I'm-- I'm going to precal. Bye."

"Have fun in class!" Kim calls out as she walks away, and Trini makes a noise in her throat.

"I won't, but thanks!" she responds then speeds up her walking pace to get the hell out of there as fast as possible, not liking how it feels to be striding across a very long football field.

 

-

 

At lunch, instead of sitting with Kat, Zack, and Billy on the bleachers, she sits with Kim at a table out in the courtyard. Kim sets her tray down, glances between her mashed potatoes and Trini's fries, then snatches two of Trini's fries off of her tray and shoves them in her mouth.

"Hey!" Trini exclaims, frowning, "Did you _ask?_ "

"We're dating now," Kim says, covering her mouth with her hand as she speaks, "Which means we share food."

"Manners still apply," Trini mutters, "And speaking of dating… we should establish some ground rules."

Kim scoffs and picks up her cheeseburger, taking a bite of it. "For what?"

"Why do you eat like an animal?" Trini grumbles, "You're like--"

"I'm like…?" Kim raises her eyebrows.

A female Zack. She'd almost said _a female Zack._ Internally, Trini vomits and promises to bleach her brain later. "Nothing," she says, hastily, "I mean, like, rules to know where we stand, you know? Boundaries and things like that. Like a contract."

"A contract?" Kim blows a raspberry and sticks her tongue out in disgust. "You really know how to suck the fun outta things, Kwan."

"Don't call me that," Trini sighs. She opens her backpack and pulls out a pen and her notebook, flipping all the way to the end to find a blank page. "Like… for example, I would _prefer_ it if you don't kiss me again."

Kim almost drops her cheeseburger. "What? _Why?_ How-- how do you expect people to believe we're dating if I can't kiss you?" She takes another bite of her burger, tearing into it with her teeth, conveying to Trini her level of utter disbelief.

Trini rolls her eyes. "I just don't want all of my firsts to be part of some fake relationship, okay? Is that so wrong?  You're already my first two kisses, and I'm not counting those."

Blinking at her, Kim shakes her head. "Okay, well then, _you_ kissed me first, so I was just evening out the playing field."

"Whatever."

"Fine," Kim huffs, "No kissing… But we have to do something _else_ to make it believable." She looks at Trini expectantly.

"What are you looking at me for? I don't know shit about dating," Trini deadpans.

"Um, we could…" Kim sighs, looking up at the sky as if an idea will just fall out of some portal and hit her on the head, "Uhhh. Oh!"

Trini sees that lightbulb go off in Kim's head again. She's not sure if she likes it when that happens or not. "What?"

"I could put my hand in your back pocket," Kim says, her eyes lighting up like she's the smartest person in the world.

"What the hell? What kind of bullshit is that?" Trini questions, staring at her.

Kim stares at her right back. "Uh, hello? _Sixteen Candles?_ Where the hell have you been?"

"The… 21st century?" When Kim just shakes her head in disappointment, Trini writes down _1\. No kissing (hand in back pocket_

"Whoa, whoa, wait, hold on." Kim waves a hand for her to stop. "Add in there, um, I could… I could write you notes."

Trini raises an eyebrow. "What?"

"Notes," Kim repeats, "Like… love notes or whatever. I could write you one every day."

"Why would you wanna do that?" Trini asks, baffled. It seems like a great amount of effort for being in a fake relationship.

"Well, uh, I kinda always wanted to write them for Amanda, but she thought they were cheesy and dumb, so…"

Oh. Right. "So if you wrote me notes, she'd get jealous."

"Yeah."

_and love notes)_

Trini looks up, waiting for something to come to her for number two.

"You have to watch _Sixteen Candles_ with me," Kim says, abruptly.

"Why?"

"I don't know… 'cause I said so. Think of it like a bonding activity."

"Is it your favorite movie?" Trini asks.

"Close to it, sure."

"Okay." Trini scribbles down _2\. Watch Sixteen Candles_

"What about your favorite movie?" Kim inquires, interrupting her, "We could do like… a double feature."

"Um… actually." Trini sets her pen down and fidgets with her beanie, pulling it down further on her head. Kim's eyes follow the motion. "There's a movie coming out in a few months, and I don't have anyone to see it with…"

Kim picks up on what she's implying. "We could go together?"

"Yeah, sure, if you want." Smooth.

"What movie is it?"

" _Love, Simon._ "

"Oh!" Kim smiles. "I saw a trailer for that the other day. You weren't gonna go see it with Kat?"

Trini scoffs. "Why would I go with _Kat_ to a gay romcom?"

Kim shrugs. "Wouldn't be weird unless you actually like her… and you already said that's old stuff."

Trini clears her throat and ignores that, finishing the sentence she was writing.

_and Love, Simon together_

"When's that coming out?" Kim asks as she finishes off her burger and takes a long sip from a Dr. Pepper can she'd gotten from the vending machines.

Trini munches on some fries, one at a time, chewing slower on purpose when Kim looks at her.

"Just eat them all at once," Kim comments.

"No, I'm not an animal. Like, March 22nd, I think. It's after Spring Break."

"M'kay. Alright, well, then, rule 3, you gotta come to the games I cheer at and the parties I'm invited to."

"Hm. No." Trini answers, instantly.

"Why not?" Kim steals another one of Trini's fries, and Trini sighs. "What's it gonna look like if my girlfriend isn't supporting me?"

"Fine. But I leave when I wanna leave."

"Alright, cool."

"And you'll be driving me to those."

"Cool."

"And driving me and my brothers to school."

"You make a lot of demands, Trini. But, yeah, sure, I'll drive you guys to school… As long as you also come on the Blue Bay trip with me."

"The Blue Bay trip is during Spring Break," Trini murmurs. And the hotspot for couples, second best to prom's after party… "Are we really gonna still be doing this then?"

" _Love, Simon_ comes out after that, so, I mean, maybe."

"Okay, but I wouldn't mind us just going to that as, like, friends or something versus us going as fake girlfriends."

"Well, call it… contingency."

Trini huffs then writes down, _3\. Go to Kim's games and parties_

Kim grabs her notebook and pries the pen out of her hand the moment she finishes writing the third rule down, and she loudly sighs, rolling her eyes as Kim writes in all capital letters underneath the third rule: _BLUE BAY!!!_

Trini mutters, "Dumb."

"Whatever."

She snatches her pen back and draws two lines at the bottom of the page where they sign their names.

"Cool, cool," Kim says, nodding when they're done, then throws her head back and groans when Trini holds her hand out to shake, "Seriously? God, where'd you even come from?"

"A deal's a deal, Hart," Trini says, a little teasingly.

Kim rolls her eyes but shakes Trini's hand, anyway.

 

-

 

After school, on Wednesdays, she normally meets Tanya at Angel Grove's one tapioca teahouse. Naturally, Trini walks in with an entire bundle of nerves underneath her beanie because she's scared as hell of talking to Tanya and having to explain _the letter._

There's some things in some of these letters that she's regretting already, the first being everything in Kat's, the second being everything in Aisha's, and, since she's already at it, everything in the other three letters, too.

Tanya is already sitting at their usual table, reading a book, a drink absent, so she's definitely waiting for Trini.

Swallowing her nerves, Trini pulls the chair opposite Tanya out and quickly sits down, feeling smaller when Tanya looks up at her and smiles.

"Hey."

"Hey," she replies, quietly.

When can she die?

"So, I'm glad you came, and, um," Tanya starts, and Trini already wants to leave, "I just wanted to talk to you about something…" She reaches up to rub at her neck, and that's when Trini notices the bracelet on Tanya's wrist, a yellow cord with… a teddy bear charm on it.

Teddy bear.

Two.

"Oh, my God, you're number two," Trini suddenly exclaims.

Tanya pauses, "What?"

"Your jersey number. You're number two."

"Yeah…" Tanya furrows her brow. "You didn't know that?"

"No, I do, I just--" She unscrambles her thoughts and forces her words all out in one breath. "Your bracelet. You-- you and Aisha."

Tanya lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh, good, you figured it out." She chuckles, "Aisha told me last night that she conveniently _forgot_ to tell you who she was seeing, so… she told me to break the rest of the news to you."

"Thanks," Trini says, dryly, still trying to process… Aisha… and Tanya… together. Two girls she's liked… _together._ Both aware of their respective letters. "Can you shoot me now?"

"What?"

"Nothing."

Tanya blinks at her, a little amused. "Anyway, I just wanted to say… You've probably heard this from Aisha, so I'll save you all the details--"

"You're flattered but it's a no? Right?" Trini guesses, wincing, "I mean, obviously."

"Yeah," Tanya answers, smiling apologetically, "Here, you should probably take this back." She flips through her book and pulls out Trini's letter to her, handing it back.

Trini tries not to think about how disastrous it would've been for a _second_ time if that letter had fallen out of Tanya's book at any point during the day and someone _else_ had found it. She hastily shoves the letter into her backpack.

"Do you still wanna get tap?" Tanya asks, "It's cool with me if you, you know, wanna get out of here."

"I--" Her first instinct _is_ to leave, but the air's better now that she knows that Aisha and Tanya are cool with her. Still slightly the most embarrassing thing she's ever going to experience, but. At least they don't, like, hate her. "Um, yeah, sure." She smiles a bit. "I mean, we're still friends."

 

-

 

That night, Trini goes to bed without thinking of Kat even once, her body buzzing pleasantly and oddly. She wrestles Bass and Matty into bed, says goodnight to her mom and Mr. Kwan watching a movie together on the couch, brushes her teeth, and slips under her soft yellow covers, curling up in the warmth of her bed after what had felt, somehow, simultaneously like an incredibly short and incredibly long day.

And, tomorrow, a new one, would be her first day dating Kimberly Hart.


	4. lonely without you

The next morning, Trini's almost late getting up because she hadn't set her alarm at the normal time, knowing that she doesn't have to drive Bass and Matty starting… today. Which means, naturally, she wakes up to Matty smacking her in the face with her own pillow.

"Fuck!" Trini yells, lashing out with her hand and connecting a solid slap to Matty's face.

The next ten minutes had been filled with a lot of fake crying on Matty's part and a lot of apologizing on Trini's, sprinkled with repeated variants of "Don't tell Mom," who'd already left for work, thankfully.

Trini gets dressed and ready and follows her brothers downstairs. There's a note on the counter next to a plate of pan dulce that's still cooling to the touch, so June hasn't been gone too long -- _Woke up early to get everyone a treat for breakfast. Love, Mom._

Bass and Matty are already bickering, and Trini rolls her eyes, bypassing them to grab a pastry for herself. Her phone buzzes in her pocket with a text from Kim.

 **_kim_ ** _hey i'm outside_

"Come on," Trini says, nudging her brothers, "Let's go. You can finish eating on the way."

When they all head outside and after Trini locks the door behind her, she turns around to find her brothers staring at Kim, leaning against her BMW, sunglasses on even though it's cloudy at best. Of course.

Trini sighs to herself.

"Who are _you?_ " Sebastian asks, and Trini flicks him on the head as she walks past him.

"Be nice, she's driving us to school."

Kim smirks at her as Trini stops at the end of her driveway and opens the passenger door for her. "After you."

Trini groans, "Really?"

"Would you like me to not be courteous?"

"Whatever." Trini gets into the passenger side and waits as Kim also opens the door for her brothers in the back. When Bass and Matty are settled in, Trini catches them in gaping at each other in awe.

"Oh, my God, Trini, your friend's hot," Bass blurts out.

"Shut up!" Trini exclaims, glad that Kim is still walking around to the driver's side, "Don't be dumb around her." That's such a wildly vague statement. She's not sure if her brothers can follow it.

Kim gets into the driver's side and buckles herself in then turns around and says to Trini's brothers, "Hey." That's all it takes.

"You're pretty," Bass says, oblivious to Matty taking his pastry out of his hand and taking a bite of it.

"Give it back," Trini sighs then says to Kim, "Sorry, they're always like this."

"It's fine," Kim says with a smile, "I don't have brothers, so this is nice." She asks, nodding at Bass chewing, "What're you eating there, buddy?"

"Pan dulce," Bass replies with a mouthful that doesn't come out quite clearly.

"Don't be disgusting," Trini scolds, "It's sweet bread." Hers is already gone, but Trini rolls her eyes when Bass rips off a piece and offers it to Kim. Subtle.

"Mm," Kim hums, her eyes lighting up, "This is _good._ " She gives Trini a look that makes her feel too warm inside, so Trini just uncomfortably shifts in her seat.

"Are you one of Trini's friends?" Matty asks, "I didn't know she had friends besides Kat."

" _Hey._ " Trini grumbles. "Yes, you do."

"Uh, well, I'm--" Kim glances at her, and Trini quickly makes a quick cutting motion at her throat, a clear no that she'll explain later. Thankfully, though, Kim takes it in stride. "Yeah, I'm her friend."

They leave it at that.

 

-

 

"Sorry about that," Trini breathes out once they've dropped Bass and Matty off at the middle school. Something coils up in her chest, uncomfortable and tight, so she doesn't bother looking at Kim.

"Nah, you're good," Kim says, and Trini chances a look. Kim shrugs once their eyes meet. "Is it something… you wanna talk about?"

Trini presses her lips together. Already this feels a little too close for a fake relationship. Kim doesn't know anything about her, and she likes keeping it somewhat close to that as possible. "Not much to talk about," she answers, quietly, "I just wanna have the chance to tell my mom before my brothers find out first."

Kim begins pulling out of the middle school parking lot and heads over to the high school. "Is this okay?" she asks as they pause at a stop sign, "I mean… are you… you know, safe? If your mom knows we're 'dating'?"

"Yeah, yeah," Trini says, quickly, not wanting to dwell on the past, "Everything's good now. I just wanna be honest with her, and Bass and Matty telling on me -- I just don't want her to think I'm trying to hide stuff behind her back."

"Alright, cool. Just checking, you know? Because, I mean, I'm okay with calling this off if things could get bad for you."

Trini swallows and sinks into her seat, desperately wanting to just have the conversation be over. She's never even touched close to any of this stuff with anyone beyond Kat. Not even Billy or Zack and, all of a sudden, Kimberly Hart is asking about her home life and it has her uneasy.

When they pull into the high school parking lot, Trini is ready to bolt, scrambling out of the car, but somehow, Kim is faster, catching her wrist as she gets out.

"Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, where are you going in such a hurry?" Kim asks, her brow furrowing.

"Nowhere," Trini says then mentally curses herself, "Listen, I just…" She gets out of the car, slams the door shut, and fiddles with the hem of her yellow beanie.

Kim leans on the hood of her car, expectantly waiting for Trini to finish her sentence.

"I just… wasn't expecting the conversation to go that way," she finishes, and that's stupid since she was the one to cut Kim off in the first place when _I'm her girlfriend_ had been on the tip of Kim's tongue in the car. Like, this is what they're doing now. She should've seen it coming.

"It's okay," Kim says, casually, shrugging, "Some things are sensitive, I get it."

"Yeah."

"Okay, cool." Kim nods at her and smirks a little. "You ready to go?" She holds out her hand.

Trini stares at Kim's hand for a moment then closes her eyes, ignoring the butterflies fluttering in her stomach when she slips her hand into Kim's, intertwining their fingers.

 

-

 

People in the hallway do a double take when Trini walks through the doors of Angel Grove High with her hand in Kim's. By the time they have third period Biology together and Kim's walked her to first and third period, their story is solid. Well, the story itself hasn't gotten out yet. But the facts are solid: Kim and Amanda are definitely not together anymore, and Kim isn't too bothered by that, if her new girlfriend is any indication.

Trini takes her normal seat all the way in the back of the classroom, half so people can't glance at her because if they do, she'd see them do it, and half so she can look at Kim without needing an excuse.

When the bell rings for the end of class, Kim turns around, apparently having felt Trini's eyes on her, and evenly meets her gaze, flashing her a wink.

Trini's glad that nobody else except Kim sees her blush and shake her head to herself.

 

-

 

It sends a shiver up Trini's spine when she walks into the cafeteria and all eyes are on her and Kim, and she can feel Kim's hand in her back pocket, warm and burning and distracting.

She tells herself not to look, but her eyes automatically drift to where the cheerleaders normally sit, half because she's curious and half because she can already feel Amanda's eyes on her.

Amanda frowns and narrows her eyes then looks away when one of her friends says something to her.

Kim must see that, too, because she tugs Trini to her by her pocket and pulls her close, their bodies almost flush together. Trini's stomach drops, and she swallows, her heart already racing. In the span of a few days, she's gone from hardly interacting with Kimberly Hart to standing inches away from her in the middle of the cafeteria. Cool.

"Good job," Kim whispers in Trini's ear, a smirk on her lips, and Trini feels the ghost of a kiss against her earlobe. When Kim takes a step back, she holds up a note, neatly folded into an origami square, its corners tucked into each other. "For you."

Trini can't even make her mouth open to say her thanks. She just hums her acknowledgment as she takes the note.

Kim laughs in the way that she does, delighted and self-assured, and walks off to get in line for food.

Shaking her head, Trini walks off in the opposite direction, meaning to go to the bathroom to calm the hell down, but a hand on her shirt yanks her into the little alcove outside of the cafeteria where the vending machines are. On instinct, she almost smacks whoever touched her, but it's just Zack.

She smacks him on the arm, anyway.

"Ow!" he hisses, "What was that for?"

"Something, I'm sure," she answers, too prideful to admit that he actually scared her for once.

Zack looks at her expectantly and wiggles his eyebrows. "Dude."

"What?"

" _Dude,_ come on!"

Trini rolls her eyes, even though she knows where he's going with this. "What?"

"Seriously? Okay, fine, _when_ were you gonna tell me you're dating Kimberly Hart, huh?"

"I-- I don't know!" she exclaims, fumbling, "It just all happened so fast, you know? Like, eventually!"

"Well, now I know," Zack says, dryly, but he's grinning.

"Now you know."

He claps her on the shoulder, and she rolls her eyes. "Congrats, though! Kim is smokin' hot--"

"Zack."

"Like, if I was single and she was single--"

Trini snorts. "As if she'd date you."

"Well, she's dating _you_ now."

"That's the something," Trini mutters then flicks him on the arm.

"Just watch out for Amanda," Zack says, suddenly and somberly.

Trini swallows. "I'm not scared of her."

"Well, yeah, I know, but…" He shrugs. "I'm just saying. Cheerleaders can be really vicious."

"What do I have to worry about if you've got my back, right?" Trini grins and gives him a high five. "Hey, thanks for that with Tommie the other day."

"No problem. That's what friends are for." He clicks his tongue and shoots a finger gun at her. "Billy and I even got invites to Emily's party on Saturday, so it all worked out for everyone in the end."

Yeah, for everyone.

 

-

 

When the school day is over, Trini waits at the side entrance to the school leading out to the student parking lot for Kim. The gymnasium and adjoining locker rooms is in the same hallway, so it's ideally where she'd wait for Kim to leave from since she has to get her cheer stuff.

It also means she sees Amanda leave the gym before Kim does. Amanda is with two other girls, one named Harper and the other she doesn't know of. At the sight of Trini, Amanda visibly pauses for a moment, just staring at her from down the hallway. Not glaring, but Trini can see that her jaw is clenched, the muscles in her neck tight. Uneasily, Trini fidgets from foot to foot but doesn't drop Amanda's gaze.

Then, the moment is gone as Harper says something to Amanda and the three girls are off in another direction.

The gym doors open again, and Kim walks out, chatting with Jason.

"Hey," Kim greets then tilts her head at Trini, following her eyes to where Amanda had been standing just seconds before, "You okay?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah," Trini says, evasively, "Just tired."

"I feel that," Jason says and nods at Trini, "So, you going to Em's party Saturday?"

Trini pauses. She hadn't known she'd even gotten an invite, but okay. "Uh, I… didn't know I was even invited?" she comments, confused.

Kim motions between the two of them. Oh, right. Because they're dating now. _That's_ her invite.

"I, uh, I'll have to check my schedule," Trini mumbles, fiddling with her backpack straps.

"Yeah, sure, just lemme know." Jason flashes her a thumbs up and leaves in the direction of the student parking lot.

Trini blinks. "I… I don't even have his number," she says, dumbfoundedly, "How would I let him know?"

"Through me," Kim says, casually shrugging. She looks up from her phone at Trini. "You are coming Saturday, right?"

Trini sighs as she remembers their contract. "If my mom says no," she says, feebly in a last attempt to wiggle her way out of agreeing to go to parties with Kim, "Then I can't do anything about that."

Kim pouts but doesn't argue against that and thankfully doesn't suggest sneaking her out because that'd get her in infinite more amounts of trouble.

 

-

 

Her mom says yes after Trini sends off a text while Kim is driving her to after school karate practice.

Unfortunately.

Bass and Matty wave goodbye to Trini and then proceed to bicker with each other over who gets to ride in the front on the way home since Trini won't be there. They're still arguing and trying to rock-paper-scissors it out when Trini leans against Kim's open driver window.

"Thanks for this," she says, "You didn't have to take me here. It wasn't…" She doesn't say _part of the contract_ in front of her brothers, not that they would've noticed, but Kim gets it.

"What kind of _friend_ would I be if I didn't?" Kim asks, smiling warmly. "Back here around five?"

"Yeah. See you."

Kim holds out her hand, and Trini pauses, realizing that she's meant to take it. The goodbye squeeze Kim gives her stays with her as she watches Kim drive away, Matty having won out the fight for the passenger seat.

 

-

 

Thankfully, Trini doesn't get paired with Tommie for sparring today, but Tommie still approaches her when class is over and everyone is packing their stuff up. Bracing herself, Trini takes a deep breath and turns around when she feels Tommie's presence behind her.

In Tommie's hand is the letter, clearly having been opened.

"I can explain--" is already halfway out of Trini's mouth, but Tommie interrupts her.

"I really don't care," Tommie says, and it's somehow half flippant but also half warm and soft and tension easily slides off of Trini's shoulders at that.

"Oh. Uh."

Tommie holds the letter out to her. "Here, it's yours. Obviously."

Trini takes the letter, shaking a little. This can't be it, right? "Uh… that's it? You're not gonna… I don't know, make fun of me? Or tell me I don't have a chance in hell?"

Raising her eyebrows, Tommie genuinely asks, "Yeah, that's it. Why would I do either of those things?"

"I don't know," she admits. It makes sense. Of course, it makes sense because Tommie's such a kind and quiet soul most of the time, but it's just that irrational fear that jumps to conclusions. "Alright, uh, cool. Bye."

"See you around."

Trini slings her stuff over her shoulder and rushes out the door as fast as she can, her stomach still nervously flipping.

 

-

 

A short few minutes after Trini leaves, presumably with Kim whom Tommie had seen pull up earlier in her BMW, the door to the dojo softly _dings_ open again. Tommie's usually one of the last people out just because she likes to lag behind, likes the feel of a place as she's one of the last few in it.

She looks up from tying her shoes to see Kat walk in. The air immediately feels… heavier. Weary.

"Looking for someone?" Tommie calls out. But she knows already. She's not incredibly close with Trini -- not enough to warrant the relationship Trini had dreamt about in her letter -- but everyone knows Trini and Kat are practically inseparable.

Or, well, were.

Which would explain why Kat hadn't been waiting outside for Trini after class today or Tuesday, either.

"Yeah," Kat answers, "But I guess I missed her." She doesn't leave immediately, though, just standing there outside of the foam mat, glancing around the dojo walls, lost in thought.

It's definitely not her business, but… Tommie finishes tying her shoes and grabs her backpack, slinging it over one shoulder. "You look like you could use a coffee or something," she comments.

Kat blinks like she only just heard the end of her sentence. "Hm?"

"Do you wanna go get some coffee?" Tommie asks again, "You look like you could really use it."

It takes a moment for Kat to really consider it, going through something heavy in her mind, Tommie can tell just from the way her shoulders tense, but finally, she gives half of a nod and a full smile. "Yeah, I'd like that."

 

-

 

They end up going to Krispy Kreme, and Tommie insists on paying for Kat's coffee and two strawberry iced donut with sprinkles. It comes naturally because she feels like Kat needs it, but it's the first time Tommie's paid for anything that wasn't for a full stranger or one of her close friends.

And they are. Friends but not quite, somewhere between classmates and, well, friends, yes, because Kat's been in a lot of Tommie's classes over the years but they don't interact outside of each other's social circles since, well, since Tommie's social circle is just whatever was left over of Emily's when she graduated and Kat's is… Trini and Billy and Zack, for the most part.

Kat has a big grin on her face by the time she's through with her first donut and they haven't said a word to each other about school or what's clearly bothering Kat because Tommie still counts that as clearly not her business. But, she pulls up her favorite vine compilations on her phone and shows Kat a whole bunch of them, and that's something that never fails to bring people together.

When Kat finishes her coffee and sighs, contentedly, as she eats the last bite of her donut, Tommie chuckles. "You really needed that coffee, huh?"

Kat pauses for a moment then shakes her head. "No, I just… I just needed the company, you know?" She smiles, but her eyes are sad. "My parents are, um, out of town, and then, there's just some… personal stuff I've been going through."

She doesn't say it, but Tommie knows without asking. All the clues are right there that the "personal stuff" has something to do with how she'd missed Trini at the dojo, how they haven't been hanging out at school at all.

Maybe even how Trini's dating Kim now.

Not that that's any of her business.

It's an urge that hits her out of nowhere, so suddenly, and Tommie just wants to run down to Trini's house and ask her what in the hell she's done to hurt someone this much.

"How long are your parents gonna be gone?" she asks, instead. Kat's an only child so that must be rough, and it's been a few years but Tommie does still remember what that feels like.

Kat perks up a little at this and straightens in her seat. "They're coming home tonight, actually, so it's not much longer."

Tommie nods. "Good. Well, uh, I hope you get to catch up and enjoy some time with them and all that."

Kat gives her a soft smile. "Thanks. I mean, it's been a weird week, so just having this was nice."

"Of course, anytime," Tommie says, just instinctively saying it, but she does mean it, "Do you, uh, need me to walk you home?"

Shaking her head, Kat laughs, running a hand through her curls. "I don't know if you wanna walk me all the way. It'd just be faster for me to bike by myself."

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Tommie rephrases, raising her eyebrows.

Kat takes a deep breath then lets it out. "Yeah," she repeats, softly, "I'd like that."

 

-

 

There's no sign of Kat's parents being home yet by the time they get to her driveway. Tommie just stands and watches as Kat locks her bike down in front of the porch and fishes her keys out of her backpack to open the front door.

"You gonna be okay?" She doesn't know exactly which meaning she's asking for.

Kat glances up at the darkened windows of her house and answers the more direct meaning. "Yeah, I'll be fine. My parents should be home soon. I'm used to it, anyway."

Tommie can't help the glance she gives to the house across the street, the one she knows to be Trini's. A light is on in the second floor window directly visible from the street, but she doesn't know if that's Trini's bedroom or not. The soft yellow walls could make it so, and she'd put a hunch on that.

She looks back to see that Kat had been looking there, too, and that confirms it.

"Night, Tommie," Kat says, ending whatever thought Tommie had had about possibly asking about Trini. It really isn't her business, but she can't put the image of the girl who wrote her that letter with one who would brush off her best friend like this for whatever reason. Then again, she doesn't know Trini very well, just like she doesn't know Kat very well.

"Do you…" she starts, quietly, "Do you wanna come to this party my sister's throwing this Saturday around, uh, seven? It's just like a, I don't know, thing before she goes back to England for the semester. You can say no." Tommie pauses to give Kat a moment to process. "I mean, I just wanted to offer since…" She shrugs. "You seem like you could use it."

Kat scoffs at that, shaking her head. "You're saying I don't get out?"

"That's not--"

"No, you're right," she agrees, even when that's not exactly what Tommie had meant, and her eyes are back to glancing at what Tommie is sure by now is Trini's window, "Yeah, I'll come."

Tommie blinks, a bit taken aback. "You will?"

"Yeah." Kat gives her another soft smile. "I can't wait." She goes to unlock her front door and waves. "Night, Tommie," she repeats.

This time, Tommie smiles back. "Night, Kat."

 

-

 

From her bedroom window, Trini keeps out of sight, sticking close to her curtains. She'd quickly scrambled away from her desk where she could be visible the moment she saw Kat and Tommie walking down the street together -- which in itself was odd but, like, made sense since she knows they'd done some group projects together -- then sporadically peeked out to see if the coast was clear.

When Kat disappears inside her house and the light in the living room flips on, Trini watches as Tommie finally leaves and starts down the street. Sighing to herself, she goes to her backpack where she'd thrown it on the floor and unzips it, rummaging around until she finds the three letters she'd collected -- well, gotten back -- in the past few days: Aisha's, Tanya's, and Tommie's.

Kim's she never had a chance to get back. Well, she technically had an infinite number of chances now, but it just seems… weird. Maybe she'll ask Kim soon.

But getting Kat's back is something she doesn't even want to think about.

Pulling her curtains close, Trini goes over and closes her bedroom door as well. She doesn't want a repeat of Bass and Matty just barging in like they always inevitably do. When she's done, she sits back down at her desk and pulls Tommie's letter out from the envelope.

_Dear Tommie,_

_It's really weird to think about, but I think I've fallen in love with you. It really, truly doesn't make any sense because we're simultaneously from two different worlds yet too similar, I guess. But, in that way, we could work. Or I wish we could. You just get people, you know? You don't even have to know them, but you've already got them. And once you've got them, you're so utterly kind to them that it blows my mind sometimes._

_It's been awhile so I don't know if you remember, but when you first moved here, after the Jordans adopted you and after you joined my same karate class, you helped little Brody Romero one day when class was over. His dad was working late and couldn't pick him up and his brother was home sick, and he just wasn't performing well that day. Some of the other younger kids were picking on him, and you stepped in. Told them off then walked him all the way downtown for ice cream._

_You didn't have to do that, but it's the kind of person you are, I guess. This huge, kind heart hidden by your cool, quiet exterior._

_But I also wonder about you. Like, I know that you're sweet. That you love your family and spend a lot of time with them, that you celebrate Shabbat with them. That you've been taking karate since you were a kid and that you didn't always used to have a family. But what else is there? What do you want to go to college for? Do you want to go to college? I mean, I'd figure so since you're near the top of our class right now and it's only junior year. Do you dream about someone the way I dream about you? What would it mean for you to fall in love? You're so guarded, I feel like it'd take a storm to push its way into your heart, and I wish that was me but it's not. I'm just doomed to a lifetime of you kicking my ass while sparring. It's kinda unfair._

_Your eyes are so beautiful, though. Who allowed brown eyes to look that good? Are they hazel? I feel like they're something else, not just brown. Something otherworldly._

_Do you ever think about these things about someone else? How do you express yourself? Would you write letters, swooning over someone else's brown eyes? Do you want a storm to come in and sweep you off of your feet like you've swept me off of mine?_

_I know these aren't things you'd ever tell me. We're not from the same circles, and we'd never be close or even good friends, probably. And, even if we were, I know I wouldn't be the person you'd tell all these deep feelings to._

_I've told you mine, though._

_I hope you have someone. Or, if you don't already, I hope you find them soon and that they come in like a storm and gush over your eyes and your hair, your cool jacket and your cool demeanor, but also that smile you give that's so rare it feels like I've found a diamond when I see it. You know the one. It's so soft and quiet that, if someone's not looking for it, they'd probably miss it. But, I've seen it, sometimes, when you choose to give it out, and it's magical, just like you._

_Stay magical and kind and strong._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was on SUCH a roll writing this entire chapter up at like 4am and i just. straight up derailed the rest of the chapter of trimberly for some soft tomkat lfdskjhfkjsf my signature move


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